Groupon
can get you into all kinds of trouble.
I was reminded of that this past
weekend, when an alert popped up on my phone reminding me I had Groupons about
to expire. I checked the app and saw I had a pass for a session of Cryotherapy.
I had seen clips and articles about Cryotherapy for a while, and when a Groupon
came up for a new business only three or so miles from the house, my curiosity
got the better of me and I clicked “Buy.”
It was time to be flash-frozen.
Cryotherapy, in this case, is
basically a big metal tank with a door and no top. There are other systems out
there, some that are a whole room in which you stand, but this place just had the
cylinders. That was good for me since it’s a bit more private. You stand inside
this cylinder, wearing only mittens, slippers and boxers to protect the
sensitive bits. Then, they start pumping nitrogen gas into the chamber, which
drops the temperature inside the tank to levels that would give a polar bear
pause. You stand in there for a maximum of three minutes. The cold in the tank
drops your surface temperature to 20-30 degrees Fahrenheit. This allegedly
promotes healing by drawing the blood in, reduces inflammation and releases
endorphins to give you energy and make you feel fabulous. That’s what the
website said, anyway. Another sign in the building said you can burn hundreds
of calories in minutes doing this, but to the attendant’s credit (and I wish I
had gotten his name but I didn’t), he told us without being asked that claim
was not actually correct.
Is it just a silly trend or are
there real benefits to this? Well, I knew I wouldn’t find out the whole story
with just one session, but I figured I could at least sample it and try
something new on a Sunday.
It was a good time to see its
effects. The day before, I had been on my feet moving around on cement for
about six consecutive hours without much of a break. I had a pain going from my
hip to my knee, most likely an angry nerve, and the knees themselves were
swollen and sore. If this could help make me feel better, then I’d call the
whole thing worth it.
Turns out it’s a pretty easy thing
to set up. Since the sessions only last about three minutes, getting a timeslot
was no problem, even on a weekend. First of course, you sign a waiver saying
the business is absolved if you die of shock from the cold, basically. You also
have to assure them you do not have a myriad of ailments, most of which involve
your heart. It makes sense since the whole point of this is to shock your body,
so perhaps it’s not the best move for folks with pacemakers.
Once I had signed away any legal
recourse, I was ushered into a changing room. I was provided with a fresh pair
of socks and a robe. That along with a pair of undies was all I had on as I
went in to the chamber that held the big tank. There were actually two of us
there and the attendant explained how it all worked.
I was first. He told me to stand in
the tank, which was small enough you could only really keep your hands at your
sides while in there, and closed the door. The height of the platform was set
so my neck and head were sticking out. He told me to ditch the robe and hand it
over the top of the tank to him. He traded it for the pair of mittens. It was
brisk in the tank to start with, but nitrogen gas is very dry so it wasn’t too
bad. He told me there was a timeclock over my right shoulder. Then he said
there was a temperature gauge to my left, which at the time sat at a balmy -30
degrees Fahrenheit. “But you don’t want to look at that,” he said. Good advice.
He then gave me a 10 second countdown and hit the button. The gas started
pouring in.
The blast of cold was intense.
Immediately my skin began to tighten up. Every time I exhaled I blew nitrogen
gas out of my face. The chill began to hit me, and out of instinct I looked
over to the clock on the wall behind my right shoulder to see where I stood
with my three-minute countdown: 2:35. Oh boy.
The attendant was smart, though. He
began asking me questions about how I found out about, the place, what did I
think when I heard about it and what I was expecting to distract me. I did my
best to answer his questions as eloquently as I could, hoping it would pass the
time. It did. I was hanging in well as the clock reached 1:30. Then the pins
and needles began. He told me that would happen. The moisture in my skin was
beginning to freeze a bit and the nerves were registering it. It started with
my arms and then hit my legs. It wasn’t painful, but there was a definite
tingling feeling. I started moving my heels up and down to keep my legs moving
a bit.
As the clock kept ticking down, the
chill became more pronounced. I couldn’t help but take a quick look, and the
temperature read -160 degrees. I let out a bit of a gasp. It’s hard to explain,
but I could feel the cold in what felt like the half-inch of flesh closest to
the surface all over me. I found myself shivering a bit, but a glance over my
shoulder again made me realize I was under 20 seconds. I was going to make it.
As the clock hit zero, the gas stopped and the attendant immediately handed me
the robe. I put it back on in record time, then opened the door to the chamber
and stepped out. The cold radiated off of me.
I also found I had tremendous
energy. The attendant told me these were the endorphins and adrenaline being
released, and that seems about right. I couldn’t stand still for a while, and
even after changing back into my clothes (my skin stayed cold to the touch for
an hour or so), I found I was barely able to keep in one spot for more than a
few seconds.
As for my hip and knee pain, both
were totally gone. The swelling in my knee was gone and the nerves were calm.
The aches I had been feeling in my legs had vanished, and in its place was an
urge for activity. I really did feel great.
Of
course that was temporary. Extreme cold isn’t going to cure you immediately,
but for about an hour or so after that session I felt absolutely no pain,
stiffness or soreness like I had before I arrived.
So is it a cure-all? No. But it does
give a burst of energy and temporary relief aches and pains. And it’s a bit of
a rush. I can see myself getting flash frozen in the future. Heck in the middle
of the Texas summertime, it will seem like even more of a treat. Just make sure
to wear your undies.
