The Other Shoe Drops

            It really wasn’t a surprise. There had been rumors for a while it was coming. The only thing that moves fast around a government operation is the gossip. Every decision comes wrapped in a bow of thick red tape, so you tend to see the big changes coming. Still, it’s never easy to sit in a room and be told your services are no longer required.

            While the Constitution requires a census every ten years to count heads in the United States, the Census Bureau operates all year every year, doing other surveys that lead to economic indicators and other statistical tasks. The Bureau swells its ranks to do the decennial census, which obviously is an enormous undertaking, but after it wraps up they end up with a surplus of employees. Over the last few months hundreds, maybe even more than a thousand (I don’t know the exact number and the Bureau does not exactly post it on their website) have been given their papers from the Bureau showing them the door.

            Mine came Monday. I was called into a room and told my last day would be July 29^th. I was told it was strictly a numbers game. There was less work coming into the place as a whole, President Obama was cutting the budget, and people had to go.

            I was also told it wasn’t based on merit. That, I had no problem believing. The Census Bureau is a union shop, and like almost all labor unions in this country the AFGE exists almost exclusively to make sure the least productive and least competent held onto their jobs with a vice-like grip. So when cuts happen, they happen based on seniority, not on ability. A useless employee who has been there five years will stay over a tireless worker who has been there for four years and 11 months. That’s the way it goes.

            I only had two years in, so when they took a machete to the payroll lists, mine was one of the names lopped off. So starting after July 29 I will no longer have a job. I’ll be eligible for unemployment, which will help a little bit, but I’ll still be back out there job-searching.

            Those of you who have been in this position know how stressful it can be. The job market in the Louisville area is not heading any lists of America’s best. It’s a seemingly endless cycle of searching through job sites, sending out resumes, customizing cover letters, then hearing the eerie silence of rejection over and over. These websites create convenience, but they also create a disconnect between the companies and the people looking for work. Many don’t even provide a phone number, just an email address or simply a “click here to apply” button. They don’t have to say no, in fact they don’t have to say anything. They can simply ignore you. Many jobs are posted only because company policy tells them they must yet they already have an internal candidate in mind. I wish those came with an asterisk, but that is hardly realistic, so good jobs are dangled in front of you and you apply, unaware you’re doing the job hunt version of running toward a mirage in the desert.

            I really struggle with this process. I try not to take it personally, I really do. Still, it can make me feel unwanted, or even worse, stupid. I over-analyze my resume and poor over my cover letters wondering what I’m doing wrong. Each time I check my phone to see no missed calls and no voicemails I feel a little worse about myself. Each fruitless trip to my email inbox makes my heart sink a bit. Each feeling of hope taken from an interview fades slowly as I wait for news that often never comes.

             I know I don’t want to work in Louisville. That’s why I moved across the river to Indiana in the first place. I don’t want to deal with the bridges and spaghetti junction traffic and everything else, so after a lot of thinking I’ve decided to expand my search far beyond this area. Perhaps I’ve worn out my welcome here. Actually, I may have worn it out quite a long time ago and only now realize it. So I’ll continue to look around southern Indiana, which I like quite a bit, but I feel it’s also time to look elsewhere.

            I have family in Austin, Texas, which is a thriving city with a vibrant culture that seems to be a good fit for me. I’ll look there. I’ll take a look at Indianapolis again, a city I miss far more than I anticipated I would. I’ll look at Orlando, where the market is tougher but a place where some of my oldest and best friends are and where my parents visit often. Both Austin and Indianapolis were on a recent list of cities with good job markets and relatively low costs of living. That was encouraging.

            I’m sure other areas will come up with during my search. It’s a strange thing. The last time I knew I was going to be moving without knowing where was when I was leaving Bloomington preparing to graduate from college. That was a long time ago. Ever since then I’ve had a destination, but this time it’s a blank slate in front of me. Maybe I'll find something down here and I'll stay. More likely, I won't. 

I’ll look around. I’ll take some chances. I’ll listen to suggestions. I'm keeping my mind open to almost anything.

And I will try very hard not to take it personally.